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"in the box" vs. "out of the box"
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hvnasmydestiny
Posted 2009-10-03 2:48 PM (#138757)
Subject: "in the box" vs. "out of the box"


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I am now going through a MAJOR shift in my homeschool style and my whole view on education and learning, etc. I tend to be "in the box" and my son is VERY "out of the box". So we have been butting heads the past 2+ years about anything related to school. It has been mostly my fault, although I didn't recognize that until about a week or so ago. Basically, I try to stuff him into the box, but he always finds a way out and then dissambles the box and makes it something different!!

Why did I buy into the mentality that only the "normal" approach to education is worthing of pursuit? Why so I think the subjects listed for high school supposed to fit my son? Why did I try to cram the info into his head, so he could pass the test that came with that curriculum (like the schools do and I detest)? Why diagram? Why higher Algebra (for non math related fields)? Why can't learning be enjoyable or at least not all drudgery?

I know some things are necessary, but a lot of it isn't and if I choose to stuff my son into this "box" and ruin (or at least negatively affect) our relationship and his attitude towards learning, what good am I doing? I decided that there has to be priorities.

One: God-I have been trying to fit a little Bible curriculum into our hectic schedule, but because it is not listed on required subjects-I felt like the time wasn't there and it was a back burner subject. Now, I want God to the key to the whole day. I will probably use curriculum or some study Bibles or other things, if it will help us understand the Bible. But I also want to visit a local Bible college (Christ for the Nations) that has worship services open to the public and also 4 days a week a speaker comes for an hour and that is open to the public as well. I also might search for a way we can serve the church on a school day as well.

Two: My son's natural talent: I want to be able to use what my son likes and insert it into what we are studying. For example-we have been recently studying about S. America. We did some mapping and worksheets. That is OK, but I want to liven it up. I have him reading about F. Pizarro. That is better, but what can make it even more interesting? Well, my son loves to make things and one of the things he has made are home-made blow guns. One interesting thing about S. America is that there are native people there that still use blow guns to hunt. I plan on buying him some materials so he can make a more sophisticated blow gun. Now, I know that some things are hard to fit into some subjects, but I am going to try.

three: a shift in my thinking and "teaching" style-I have to be flexible to meet my son and also help him learn. Why do all the questions have to be answered on paper. I only have one student, why can't we discuss what he has read and I can see how much he understands. Also, I need to realize that field trips and videos are a valuable learning tools. I know that anything in excess is not good, but they can be helpful. Also, if he wants to manipulate something with his hands while we read or discuss-why not? As long as it is not making too much noise and he is paying attention.

Four: the knowledge that college is not for everyone. I know that even as I write this some of you may be thinking it is mandatory that all should go to college. I am not debating and what you believe is fine, but I am not going to stuff my son in the box. College is a tool, but an often misapplied one. Enough said.

Five: the value of any skill- The mechanic down the road has a skill I don't and probably won't ever have. He is intelligent and most likely as intelligent as more or more so. Can he diagram or do Algebra---maybe/maybe not. But is it important--NO. If my son is going to go into a field that takes a different kind of intelligence then I am fine with it. In fact, I am more than fine--I am pleased and joyful about it. So, whenever we see someone doing the plumbing or building a house or managing restaurant-we should realize that they are skillfull and intelligent people.

Anyway, I am just unloading some thoughts. I am open to response-positive or negative. Please excuse how long this is.
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LeAnnTN
Posted 2009-10-03 5:09 PM (#138764 - in reply to #138757)
Subject: RE: "in the box" vs. "out of the box"



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I learned so much from A Purpose Driven Life about kids. I remember him saying that "Train up a child in the way he should go" means "according to his natural bent". Just like a tree is supposed to grow a certain way, a child is too. And God puts something in your child that will go toward His purpose. I remember that he said he wanted his son to play football so it crushed him when he decided to quit football and go full time into the band. But that got him a scholorship and now he is a worship leader somewhere. Your son will lean toward something...nurture that.
My husband is having a hard time with this as well. We have 2 girls and he would live at the girls softball park if I'd let him. My 9 yr old said she doesn't want to play anymore and last night was her last game (unless she changes her mind before Spring). He said it was sad for him because they shared that together. But she wants to do piano lessons or something musical. So I told him that she isn't "bent" toward sports and he can't make her be. Thankfully, he still have the 6 year old who lives and breathes throwing ball with Daddy. : )
But, God has a purpose for your sons life. Will it be something that needs a college education? I don't know. But if he listens and you watch for signs....you guys can figure it out. And nurture that. Soak up info on what that might be.
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SoCalPam
Posted 2009-10-03 9:22 PM (#138792 - in reply to #138757)
Subject: It all sounds good!



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Location: On the beach!

I have two boys, too -- 7th and 10th grades.  I do have them follow a public school type of curriculum, because their plans change and I truly don't know what they will need in the future.  My older son is leaning toward linguistics right now, but last year he wanted to be a music editor.  So... I have him do the PS curriculum because who knows what he'll want to do next?  LOL! 

My goal is to train up my kids so that they'll have a choice. If they get to 18 and don't want to go to college, and do want to go to a vocational school (or whatever), then fine -- that's their choice for a career.  However, if they choose college and advanced education, then they're prepared for that as well.

That said, I adjust curriculum all the time to fit my kids.  Geography last year was WAY more fun for us when I introduced Netflix documentaries about various places on earth + used the book Material World, which shows families from all over the world posed with their stuff. What an eye-opener!  Both my boys liked it, asked for it, and I think it's helped my older son choose a career where he'll be traveling more.

PS requires two years of math; they don't say which ones.  My son worked his way through Algebra I last year and got an A.  Wow!  No help from me, I'm afraid.  This year he asked to be released from continuing on and gave me some well-thought-out reasons (including that he'll likely do community college which will require the types of basic math he's doing in high school).  We agreed to have him do A Beka's Consumer Math this year, which he enjoys and is MUCH harder than he expected, LOL!  Figuring out what an insurance company would pay for an accident left him with his jaw hanging down.

We utilize the kids' interests all the time for school.  My boys are interested in weapons and have quite a few knives and swords.  We found an amazing guy who teaches knife-throwing and quarter staff training who has an enormous collection of weapons. He lets the boys come over and train, and they spend a lot of time in the armory learning about weapons (which means they're learning about the battles/conflicts/wars in which they were used, which means they're learning history).  They get more from our friend than they'd ever get out of a book.

To me, the joy of homeschooling is the flexibility.  My younger son likes to get up, get the work done, and be finished by lunch, if possible (unless mean Mommy has assigned a paper to write).  My older son likes to sit down about 10, work for a couple of hours, eat, relax, play on the computer, work for a couple of hours, eat, relax, play on the computer, work... As long as he's done by 10:00 p.m. (lights out), I'm fine.  And as long as any input from me is done by about lunch time I'm okay too.  I've had to REALLY adjust to this; it is not my way at all.  However, he's getting his work done and maintaining high grades, so I'm letting him work it out. I just don't want to have to sit down at 9:00 p.m. and quiz him for a Spanish test.  That's something public school moms have to cope with.

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Christa
Posted 2009-11-03 10:28 AM (#142707 - in reply to #138757)
Subject: Re: "in the box" vs. "out of the box"



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Woo hoo, good for you for deciding to step out of the comfort zone. Each child is unique as is each mama teacher. And it takes a little time somtimes to find your groove. But it sounds like you are on a new fresh track for your home and that's terrific. It may go back to "in the box" as he gets older, and it may not. Be flexible to change and willing to do what needs to be done. Let us know how it's going!

I have a 9 and almost 6 yo boys. They are not totally in or out of the box. they are somewhere in between. More out of than in though I think. I had to learn to let my oldest do more oral than written. He is a good writer, but hates to do it. And so one of the out of the box things is we do more oral things like you mentioned. He still has plenty of writing in his day, but he doesn't need ALL of the writing some books ask for... They both love hands on, as most boys do.

Keep up the great work!
c
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zachsmom
Posted 2009-11-03 11:54 AM (#142729 - in reply to #138757)
Subject: Re: "in the box" vs. "out of the box"


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Posts: 9

Hello

I'm so glad to read your thread. It's like I'm reading what I've been going through with my son. I've been trying so hard to squish him into the molded "box", he's started to lose interest. I realized he's not the one that needs to be unprogrammed . . . it's me.

I've been trying so hard to be like a "school" teacher. I've tried to follow the boxed cirriculums to the letter. Silly me, I've been trying to simulate everything that has failed for him in the past.

I realized this experience is a transition for both of us. We are just ending our first quarter and have learned a lot about our subjects and each other. I'm going to stop trying to fit him into the box and instead find ways to make this as rewarding as I can for us both.

I'm glad to know I'm not alone making this discovery about home schooling.
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hvnasmydestiny
Posted 2009-11-03 12:23 PM (#142735 - in reply to #142729)
Subject: Re: "in the box" vs. "out of the box"


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zachsmom,
I am so glad I am not the only one. I am just so disappointed that it tool me this long. But, God is good and He is going to bring all this about to be a blessing.
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Christa
Posted 2009-11-03 12:53 PM (#142739 - in reply to #138757)
Subject: Re: "in the box" vs. "out of the box"



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don't beat yourself up over taking "so long" to do this... the entire hsing experience is learning for both student and teacher... I think in my hsing walk I have learned more myself about leaning on and listening to God than my kids have learned academically... You are just in process is all.
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