It's an important facet, though.  In fact, telling it honors your husband and lets your children know to be proud of him all the time   I can imagine that it would get very old, though.  Maybe there's a short and sweet way to phrase it.  Ladies? Any suggestions?  I'm thinking, "My husband passed quite suddenly three years ago" and leave it at that. 

I have a friend who has a severely disabled son (it's very obvious -- he's strapped to a wheelchair) while his triplet brothers are not as outwardly disabled. She is just shocked by the number of people who feel compelled to comment on it, right in front of her son!  She says to them, "He can hear and he can understand everything you're saying..."  Sheesh.

I'm glad the lady you spoke with today was quiet and respectful.  Also glad that she wants to be your friend!  Go for it!  You know what? Everyone has a story.  You'll hear hers, too, I'll bet!