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I got this idea from a friend of mine who had heard about a "negative jar." It was basically a way of training the family to speak postively. If someone spoke negatively, they had to put a quarter in the negative jar. Well, my friend thought that this was a bad name, and changed it to the POSITIVE jar!!! So we made up a jar for our family. Our friend decorated the jar with bee stickers and wrote "Bee positive!" I used a large plastic pickle jar, cut a coin hole in the top and decorated it with stars
| Instead of using it for our speech, I did it to reinforce good behavior. If Yvette had an unusually good day of school, then she got to put a quarter in the jar (from me). If Yvette reads to her brothers, they ALL get to put a quarter in the jar. If the house is cleaned up without being demanded, and unusually well, they put quarters in. If I see unselfish behavior that is worth rewarding, in goes a quarter. For instance, if I see amazing sharing or courtesy between siblings, the sharer gets a quarter to put in the jar. The main thing is, the quarter rewards behavior that is outstanding, not what is normally expected of them. |
I do not hand quarters out all day long. This usually happens only a few times a week, so it's a big deal. The kids pick (together) the goal they want to spend the money on, a family activity like Chuck E Cheese. They picked Disneyland the first time, and that's too big of a goal. Make it more like something that will only cost $10 or $20. We lucked out and got into Disneyland for free (with an employee) so we used the $35 we had saved in the positive jar for spending money. We put a picture or brochure of the goal in the jar.
This worked very well for us, and one of the reasons I like it is that we work towards a FAMILY goal. I'm not bribing one kid to do something for money. And we don't buy more "stuff" (i.e. toys) with it.
--Mary Leggewie
Here are some suggestions for verses! (PLEASE e-mail Mary YOUR favorites!)
Prosperity ... Proverbs 3:13-15; Proverbs 8:14,18-21; Proverbs 10:2; Proverbs 10:3; Proverbs 10:22; Proverbs 10:24; Proverbs 11:4; Proverbs 11:28; Proverbs 13:7; Proverbs 13:11; Proverbs 15:6; Proverbs 15:16; Proverbs 15:17; Proverbs 15:27; Proverbs 16:8; Proverbs 17:1; Proverbs 18:16; Proverbs 20:21; Proverbs 21:6; Proverbs 21:17; Proverbs 22:1; Proverbs 22:4; Proverbs 22:16; Proverbs 23:4,5; Proverbs 24:3,4; Proverbs 28:6; Proverbs 28:8; Proverbs 28:10; Proverbs 28:11; Proverbs 28:13; Proverbs 28:19; Proverbs 28:20; Proverbs 28:22; Proverbs 30:8,9
Discretion/prudence ... Proverbs 1:4; Proverbs 2:10; Proverbs 2:11; Proverbs 2:12; Proverbs 13:21; Proverbs 5:1,2; Proverbs 11:22; Proverbs 12:5; Proverbs 12:16; Proverbs 12:23; Proverbs 13:16; Proverbs 14:8; Proverbs 14:15; Proverbs 14:18; Proverbs 15:5; Proverbs 16:21; Proverbs 18:15; Proverbs 19:11; Proverbs 19:14; Proverbs 19:27; Proverbs 21:5; Proverbs 22:3; Proverbs 27:12
Loyalty to Kith and Kin (faithfulness) ... Proverbs 11:13; Proverbs 13:7; Proverbs 14:5; Proverbs 20:6; Proverbs 25:13; Proverbs 25:19; Proverbs 28:20; Proverbs 29:14
Goodness ... Proverbs 2:1,9; Proverbs 3:27; Proverbs 11:17; Proverbs 11:27; Proverbs 12:2; Proverbs 12:25; Proverbs 13:22; Proverbs 14:14; Proverbs 14:19; Proverbs 14:22; Proverbs 16:7; Proverbs 16:20; Proverbs 17:20; Proverbs 19:8; Proverbs 22:1
Joy (humor, gladness) ... Proverbs 3:13,18; Proverbs 12:25; Proverbs 14:21; Proverbs 15:13; Proverbs 15:15; Proverbs 16:20; Proverbs 17:22; Proverbs 28:14; Proverbs 29:18
Being honest in difficult situations ... Proverbs 3:3; Proverbs 11:1; Proverbs 12:17; Proverbs 12:19; Proverbs 12:22; Proverbs 14:25; Proverbs 16:11; Proverbs 16:13; Proverbs 17:15; Proverbs 19:1; Proverbs 20:10; Proverbs 20:23; Proverbs 21:3; Proverbs 24:11,12; Proverbs 24:28,29; Proverbs 28:8; Proverbs 28:13
Demonstrating true humility (versus phony baloney self-righteousness) ... Proverbs 3:34; Proverbs 11:2; Proverbs 15:33; Proverbs 16:19; Proverbs 18:12; Proverbs 22:4; Proverbs 25:6,7; Proverbs 29:23
Being Just by honoring God's Law-Word ... Proverbs 3:33; Proverbs 4:18; Proverbs 9:9; Proverbs 10:6; Proverbs 10:7; Proverbs 10:20; Proverbs 10:31; Proverbs 11:9; Proverbs 12:13; Proverbs 12:21; Proverbs 16:11; Proverbs 17:15; Proverbs 17:26; Proverbs 20:7; Proverbs 21:3; Proverbs 21:15; Proverbs 24:16; Proverbs 26:8; Proverbs 29:10; Proverbs 29:27
Showing mercy/kindness ... Proverbs 11:17; Proverbs 14:21; Proverbs 14:22; Proverbs 14:31; Proverbs 21:21;
Being truly righteous (versus phariseeism) ... Proverbs 2:6,7; Proverbs 10:2; Proverbs 10:3; Proverbs 10:11; Proverbs 10:16; Proverbs 10:21; Proverbs 10:24; Proverbs 10:25; Proverbs 10:28: Proverbs 10:30; Proverbs 10:32; Proverbs 11:4; Proverbs 11:5; Proverbs 11:8; Proverbs 11:18; Proverbs 11:19; Proverbs 11:21; Proverbs 11:28; Proverbs 11:30; Proverbs 11:31; Proverbs 12:3; Proverbs 12:5; Proverbs 12:7; Proverbs 12:10; Proverbs 12:12; Proverbs 12:17; Proverbs 12:26; Proverbs 12:28; Proverbs 13:5; Proverbs 13:6; Proverbs 13:9; Proverbs 13:21; Proverbs 13:25; Proverbs 14:9; Proverbs 14:19; Proverbs 14:32; Proverbs 14:34; Proverbs 15:6; Proverbs 15:9; POroverbs 15:19; Proverbs 15:28; Proverbs 15:29; Proverbs 16:8; Proverbs 16:12; Proverbs 18:5; Proverbs 18:10; Proverbs 21:12; Proverbs 21:18; Proverbs 21:21; Proverbs 21:25,16; Proverbs 23:24; Proverbs 25:26; Proverbs 28:1; Proverbs 28:10; Proverbs 28:12; Proverbs 28:28; POroverbs 29:6; Proverbs 29:7; Proverbs 29:16
Courage/Boldness/Strength ... Proverbs 10:29; Proverbs 11:16; Proverbs 20:29; Proverbs 24:5; Proverbs 24:10
Being true blue (upright) ... Proverbs 2:7; Proverbs 2:21,22; Proverbs 10:9; Proverbs 10:29; Proverbs 11:3; Proverbs 11:6; Proverbs 11:11; Proverbs 11:20; Proverbs 12:6; Proverbs 13:6; Proverbs 14:2; Proverbs 14:11; Proverbs 15:8; Proverbs 15:21; Proverbs 16:17; Proverbs 21:18; Proverbs 21:29; Proverbs 28:6; Proverbs 28:10; Proverbs 28:18; Proverbs 29:10; Proverbs 29:17
Giving (as in time with a younger sibling or whatever) ... Proverbs 3:9,10; Proverbs 3:27,28; Proverbs 11:24; Proverbs 11:25; Proverbs 19:6; Proverbs 19:17; Proverbs 22:9; Proverbs 28:27
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